Sunday, 14 June 2009


The new ultra calm me has been through an extreme test today, there were times when I wished I could bring myself to swear at the screen just to relieve some of the frustration but that is not part of my software.

Several days ago while printing labels for the latest exhibition the printer croaked, nothing but streaky mess which no head cleaning would fix. Knowing such a day would pass I took advantage of large reduction on a printer when buying this computer last year. I was so desperate to see how good it was that I left it hidden in a cupboard! Unopened!

Nice to have a spare I thought, just unpack it and plug it in and go.

First few steps worked and it buzzed into life, the instructions are so unclear and small they are almost useless, the text needs a 10x magnifier and you have to fiddle about in very dark holes of black plastic to find strangely named parts. Eventually inks loaded it grinds and buzzes again for two minutes to spit out the expensive ink.

Must be ready to go now I thought but no, it needs to spend 13 minutes aligning it’s heads, just insert the two sheets of special paper which HAD NOT BEEN SUPPLIED!

A morning wasted seeking a supply of special paper, only available in PACKS OF 50! Take it home and let the machine play with itself while I cook dinner, will load software later I think, then finally print the rest of the work, I relax.

Late evening may as well finish by loading drivers from disc, all seems to go well so go to register with Canon site to get updates etc. It has been waiting since last April to get going! Try entering password, “ never heard of it” says machine, request new password. The same! But on third attempt with same it decides to stop fooling around and work. I watch a few demo videos and call it a night, print tomorrow, need large label to post parcel.

Next day print label by hand, printer not recognised! Pull plugs and walk away, go and socialise with friend who is leaving the street to go and live in a town along the coast, he brings back all my CDs. Even have lunch in sunshine, finish just as rain starts, return to hell. Get mac to recognise printer but they are not friends and will not communicate, incomprehensible messages come up on screen. Why do they do this? At least they do not just flash for half a second as sometimes happens but if it is meaningless why bother?

On and off through the evening everything imaginable is tried, plugs in and out, reload softrubbish etc., and search endlessly through the “help” section. At 1:30 Julie comes to see if I am still alive and I demonstrate how it fails to work and printer “pauses” locked and silent. “ Show me again” she says after everything is reset.


Great. Now I have a printer which may work, shame there is nolonger anything which needs printing!!!

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Many thanks to all who ever joined in the conversation and to those who took the time to follow my zig zag to a new life..

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