Friday, 8 October 2010
Up too early and thinking.
Not much sleep and woke in darkness with another sore throat, how can this be?
I came to the screen in search of something to distract me only to find that most people out there whose blogs I follow seem to have lives to lead, many to such an extent that their blogs have ceased to be or have not had a post for months and you are now all neatly filed at the bottom of my list hidden away for now.
The three posts waiting for me this morning all hit on topics active in my thoughts these days.
A Life Reborn - Rebecca Posted photographs of early morning walks in the early autumn parkscape. Unwanted freedom has given her this opportunity to explore her world but like many in our circle is now seeking new work alongside a new life. Frustrating in a world where so many useless people are employed and so many talented are not. I was once a driven observer of the world through the lens and feel a little embarrassed to find that I am not posting images as good as these. Lets hope Rebecca gets employed soon to save me further embarrassment!
Virginia's Tonic Worries that she is dominating the home agenda with her new found life. I think we have all probably done that at some period as we burst into the world like Champagne from a shaken bottle after an eternity held down tight.
I seem to be reaching near the end of the bubbly period which really took off four months ago with my final coming out though followers will know that I had been wondering how far out I had to go before someone finally asked, people can be really dumb. There does seem to be an infinite number of people to tell and paperwork to get through but after a life time of angst and frustration boiling away inside sending me through a roller coaster ride of depressions real life is a bit quiet and almost dull. This does not bode well for the next years posts does it? Our national health system grinds away very slowly and is getting evermore strapped for cash for the final piece of surgery which has been dangled like a carrot before me.
Forty years ago I was told That there was no hope of ever getting any medical help in my lifetime and like a fool I believed this medical wisdom! Stranded in a limbo, no way on earth was I ever going to attempt to play a male role and wear hideous male clothes but wearing my unisex to feminine style did not exactly make an unqualified person employable, we had depressions in the economy back then too. I stepped into the shadows and lived a very quiet life venturing out only occasionally. The world slowly changed and while we hardly fully accepted into society help is finally there if you have the circumstances and nerve to ask for it. The personal price is still a high one to pay and while I have been lucky to live in an accepting arts circle of friends not everybody is so lucky with even the mother-child bonds often the first to break! Sadly as a group we are as disunited as any out there and perhaps is responsible for our lack of general acceptance. We shall be forever a wide ranging and fluid group with those least able to make a full and imperceptible return into society the ones most likely to be the long term face society sees and holds as a caricature. We, and certainly society generally does not have a hard and fast set of words clearly defined to be able to describe us and our condition, we hardly know what to call ourselves or the surgical procedures we may undergo.
Divide and rule has been a good adage since time immemorial and we seem to do a very good job of doing just that to ourselves to allow others to rule us! Melissa's Meanderings is now up to 20 comments as cages have been rattled. Perhaps we are doomed.
Jill at Through the Looking Glass, perhaps still private, has been a bit behind with her voice exercises. Now surely we can all be agreed on this one point. M2F voice is hard and we just have to put in the practice even though it is hard to judge your own results.
Now if only I did not have a sore throat...