Thursday, 27 January 2011

A joyous post delayed or lost.

This past week for me has been quite joyful and how to express that joy has been occupying my mind for several days. Unfortunately I just can't get up the enthusiasm to be joyful when every time I log on to the net our corner of it shows so many signs of infighting.

I feel quite lucky that when I first started to explore the net our corner of it was bursting with information and slowly I encountered blog after blog written by others trying to share their stories and experiences to help those  who followed.

As a group I fear we are doomed to perpetual alienation from society. A room full of cats have more chance of getting organised than we do. Forces which I cannot understand appear to be at work to keep us perpetually divided into discrete categories! We're almost forming an apartheid movement where a group of post-op transsexuals have taken the position looking down upon those who do not match their criteria. In present-day society any of us who come out publicly in any way are the merest tip of an iceberg, how many countless thousands still live in fear because of being unable to be accepted openly by society whether they be someone who wishes to express themselves by dressing in clothing normally considered to be that preserve contrary to that normally worn by those born in with their particular body type through to those who have known from an early age that nature has pulled a dirty trick on them, giving them an inappropriate body and role for their mindset.

I consider myself one of the latter but it has never stopped me supporting those who have different concerns from my own. The general public have little interest in distinguishing between all our little cliques and to them they are all just grouped together under the T umbrella. Little do they know from our perspective it is broken and full of holes and offers little protection for any of us. 

I have lived what is considered three generations now and have seen precious little improvement in our public image, how the medical profession treat us all how we are accepted into society unless we become invisible because they are lucky enough to get treatment sufficient for us to seamlessly meld into a preferred gender. It is hard to believe that it is nearly 60 years and since Christine Jorgensen was front-page news throughout the entire United States and many places beyond.

It is my fervent hope that all this backstabbing and infighting dies away soon and does not drive away too many fellow sufferers coming here in search of hope like I did only to find further disappointment and disillusionment.


  1. I was watching this segregationist crapola upswelling a couple of months back, and decided it was healthier for me to just stay clear of it by avoiding posts from the Usual Suspects. I don't think it's significant in the greater scheme of things; as you say, outside the precious world of internet warrior princesses, no-one differentiates or gives much of a damn. Better to celebrate that which we do and makes us happy. Crikey, that sounds a bit Pollyanna. Good morning!

  2. Where has all this in-fighting been taking place? Not on the blogs I like most!

    I'm not denying however that it takes place. It's upsetting and harmful. After all, being trans - if I can say so - is a mental and physical state, not a club, nor a political party, nor some general movement like a campaign against abortion or nuclear weapons. It's personal and individual. My transition is a different story from yours. In a sense we are sisters, but only in the way all women who have had children are sisters. It makes no sense to pop somebody into a category and strike an attitude towards them.

    I agree that a trans person who has managed to get through the entire thing and is now post-op, and anxious to become discreetly invisible, is likely to feel quite different from someone who revels in out-and-proud trans events, and perhaps goes no further. But Miss Post-op should not - for example - be regarded as 'more committed' and therefore more virtuous, or in some kind of superior clique.

    Indeed, I just can't see how such things as 'commitment' come into it. There are degrees of personal compulsion, and degrees of opportunity to comply, that's all.


  3. I like this litle corner of the net - nothing but good sense and respect. If only everyone out there had the same attitude.


  4. It's so nice to see that those whom I have the most respect for, also have the most rational and intelligent outlook on the diverse ways that gender dysphoria plays out in each individual's life.

    Ladies, I truly adore each and every one of you!

    Melissa XX

  5. Nicely said! Writing like this gives me hope...for all of us. :)

    Peace, Tina

  6. Sadly there will always be someone who is better, faster, stronger, richer, more intelligent yada yada yada .,. well in their own little world anyway.

    Seems to me that often these little people seek to proclaim this supposed superiority to validate their own assessment.

    Such a shame that they don't buzz off and bother someone else.

    That said ..,. Come on don't deny us all a happier thread posting joyous news !!


  7. As a group I fear we are doomed to perpetual alienation from society.

    As a group? I don't know. I'm not alientated from society. Should I be?

    We're almost forming an apartheid movement where a group of post-op transsexuals have taken the position looking down upon those who do not match their criteria.

    Unless of course this "looking down upon" is not actually true.

    It is my fervent hope that all this backstabbing and infighting dies away soon...

    Some of it, at least, starts as discussion. Discussion should not turn into backstabbing and infighting. Discussion is healthy if it stays on topic and people don't take it personally.

  8. I am totally with you, Caroline.

    I like the way Elizabeth put it on her blog. It's like she felt, and I felt, when going to high school. The bullies terrorized me and I so dreaded going every day. Now, it's like I hate to even open up my reader to see what is going on.

    I'm open to clean debate which is why I featured Ariel's and Teri's posts recently on T-Central. It's the comments that can sometimes get me down.

    Calie xxx


Many thanks to all who ever joined in the conversation and to those who took the time to follow my zig zag to a new life..

I can be contacted on the email found on my profile page.