Wednesday, 17 October 2018
I have friends old enough to celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary and was invited to the celebration at a rented large country house in the north of England. People came from far and wide to spend two days of food wine and chat. New me does these things with joy, always happy to help out with the organising, catering and teaching a group of my age how to play snooker on the full sized table in the games room, sign of me once trying to misspend my youth…
The chat with such a wide range of folk was the main attraction though the food was good. Most interesting for me was a guy who had seen his whole life at one of the most dangerous jobs, deep sea fishing, and enjoyed every day of it and never lost a close friend at sea the whole working life.
Sitting next to me at the evening meal on the first day was a charming woman, widow of the brother of one of the anniversary couple. We chatted generally on subjects now long forgotten, then the subject somehow got round to how she and her daughter used a so called social media site but each restricted it to one subject interest only, not mixing different parts of their lives. I kept quiet about how I feel about these sites and how they force changes without warning, I can no longer make comments using my old Blogger profile for example… Out of nowhere the subject was all about how the woman’s daughter used her media presence just for LGBTI campaigning and the person I was talking to herself just could not understand the idea of transexuals at all…
Where do you go from there?
I suggested that she should find someone who was T and talk to them...
“Have you ever had a conversation with a transexual to get their perspective on the situation?” I asked. “ I have never met one” she said. “I think you have “ was my reply, “what do you want to know?”. There was some confusion and bewilderment before the penny dropped that the woman who had been chatting away with her for so long had an unexpected and interesting former life!
Her daughter seems to be a masculine female who is quite content with the body she has but keeps on about trans rights and the poor woman just did not get it.
Naturally I gave her the full lecture from confused two year old through the life of dishonesty and misery, having to hide true self and never fitting in until it is a choice between suicide or transition. You get the idea, and I think she can now write a post doctoral thesis on the subject.
From her reactions she had clearly never considered any of the many interesting facts she heard but made it clear that she was much better informed and ready to finally have a heart to heart conversation with her daughter. I never did get to talk to my parents…
Our chat interestingly never changed the way she interacted with me for the rest of the two day celebration and even made an effort to seek me out to say goodbye.
Normally these days I rarely think much of my past or the transition to my new life. Calm as I was during the chat there was a brief period of sick to the stomach feeling before something distracted me back into the real world.
It is sad to see otherwise bright well educated folk still completely ignorant of our predicament and easy to see how less well educated are the same and easily whipped up to pointless fury by wilful media or governments asking for inputs to proposed reform of previously badly made gender equality legislation as is happening in the UK at the moment.
I no-longer have the time, energy or inclination to campaign, it is time to pass the baton on to the younger generation.