Sunday, 29 November 2009

My name is...

My name is Caroline and I am a Macaholic!

I am sure this will shock some of my readers for this I am sorry but I just can’t help it. It could be that they are so cute to look at when they are resting as well as when they are awake. Mine have always just worked from the moment they switch on and leave me stress free. When it all boils down they are just so desirable!

So what do I do when my wife decides that she needs mobile computing now that she is no longer employed and needs something for her personal research projects. She likes the Mac but does not have my addiction and started looking at ugly plastic machines some of which were so stripped down they would not be much use for my work with photographs on the move. She has to have something, I have more difficulty getting on this machine for a while, a new toy will keep her out of my hair!

My dream of a flashy iPod has been abandoned and all birthday and christmas presents have been banned, no more clothing purchases either. All available funds I could find have been added to the price she was prepared to pay so that we could have a new toy we could both be happy with.

Any body who hoped for a christmas present stop dreaming now ‘cos a baby MacBook is on it’s way!

Savings are already being made, the meal we provided for friends last night was done with cheap minced beef and they even praised it, we could have saved a fortune if we had known we could do this years ago.


Looks like life is going to be quiet for a while...

Monday, 23 November 2009

Looking down

Our week of free motoring is over. The wee blue Polo abandoned outside our home when a friend broke her wrist has finally been returned and parked up dry in her garage until some time after christmas. Life is a wee bit tricky when you suddenly only have one hand in action so we helped out where we could. I offered to help her with her shower which she was afraid to take without someone in the house in case of mishap. I was surprised that my offer was refused since she was the one who made a much more interesting suggestion to me not long after I started seeing her cousin many years ago. Does she not fancy me any more? Dishes were washed, tins and jars opened and shopping packed away before we departed safe in the knowledge that another friend will be passing by within 48 hours to do the same. This is going to keep us occupied for a few weeks, guess we will not be getting home made christmas cake this year, think she is going to give away all the books she no longer wants judging by the questions she dropped!

That was a lucky break in the weather and it is now lashing against the windows with heavy rain again. No word of my snap digi camera, guess they must have gone away soon after we left. Shame really I would have liked to make a short macro video of the erupting carbuncle, there does not seem to be any educational video available on the net on this subject but I am missing my chance and you all get to keep down your lunch.


Life getting back to some sort of normality. Liz came to help in garden and we filled holes in the walls with mortar, a job she has been wanting to do for months and really enjoyed. When I discovered her parents were having a days holiday a long lazy lunch was organised so that took care of the afternoon… Liz took away carrots and jerusalem artichokes, she likes to make her mother pass gas!

Decided to preempt any aches from bending and carrying and have the first sauna and shower for 12 days since leg sewn up. Tried new timing starting early evening before eating leaving the whole evening free, why did I not think of this before? Compensates for the early darkness outside. I can make a saving since I can no longer stand the heat that I did before, it made me feel a little jealous for those of you living out in the desert. As I sat on the bench in the warm coloured light I took time to look down and consider how I now look. It is a year since I had my orchiectomy, see recent post on pinkessence, and the view has changed! Still waiting to see about HRT this is the UK health service I have to deal with after all, even so there are softly rounded small breast shapes there. Slightly hippy where the buttocks have swelled while the arms and legs are finer with the loss of muscle mass. A swell of belly feels different from the old one, much softer as is all the skin which without my reading glasses appears hairless, that is because the hair is now finer and more sparse and it gets a thorough epilation every week. The nails sparkle golden and there is a slight reminder of the male thing shrunken away in the pubic hair, hardly a bother at all even when slightly bigger. The warm glow that I feel regarding all this, nothing to do with the heat of the sauna!, is positive proof that this was meant to be.



Friday, 20 November 2009

unaccustomed as I am to suffering

It seems that the reason I have been quiet here is not that a bunch of doctors gave me food poisoning, being doctors they tested everything didn't they?, no it was "just" a case of norovirus, aka winter vomiting virus. Seventeen of us got it, non died, though it does that quite often!

So my road test of this virus, what does it do and is it a good idea to avoid it or not? If you can't afford colon hydrotherapy and do not mind the horror of bringing up your lunch from as far down as your knees then this is the way for you to clean out that gastric tract and start again. You will fell queasy for days after which will save even more money on the cost of meals and probably help you drop a pound or so in weight. the down side is that you will lack energy, ache all over and find it difficult to sleep but be too exhausted to utilise the extra waking hours. You will have to be scrupulously clean to avoid passing on this highly contagious bug or suffer the scorn and hatred of friends and family.

So for efficiency in causing pain and suffering I award this bug *****

As a good excuse for a few days off work I am afraid I cannot award any.

Got that on saturday at a party with enough doctors to staff a small hospital so I guess a small hospital has been without staff this week! at least I queue jumped and asked a consultant I knew about a red lump which had just appeared and did not seem to be responding to treatment, his diagnosis- ooooooH that's nasty, it will probably swell up and explode! while distracted with something else that is exactly what it did, so much for inert lumps. Egyptians had seven plagues i seem to remember so only five to go.

One good moment this week when the health clinic nurse pulled out the stitches from last week's wee lump removal she saw me off with " there you go pet " which is not the sort of endearment I used to get and cheered me no end.

Thursday, 12 November 2009

house guests

House guests for a week. Four people just cannot make plans! I gave the chef all my money, (£30 $45 per walk round) and the golf clubs found in the attic in the tattiest golf bag on the planet and left him at the local golf club where he played his last round of golf about 15 years ago! They will probably be talking about this crazy Frenchman who turned up with clubs from a museum, lost a ball on each of the first three holes, lucky they had not just fallen out of the holes in the bag! and by the end of the round he was getting respectable scores again. When it was starting to get dark and rain I set off to see what had happened to him, at least he had half a days pleasure for the money and was grinning like a cat after a bowl of cream!

Next day I promised him that a fish van would arrive at the door, this is his passion. We waited in the increasing gloom until it started to rain, Billy did not turn up. Just our luck he had a broken clutch an was out of action for the rest of the day. We drove south out of the rain to the south coast of Fife with small fishing villages and the best fish and chip in the country on the harbour where we sat OUT to eat in the sunshine. Our remains were pooled and the others threw them at the seagulls as the half hour to load video shows.

Finally found some fish and was shown how to make a wonderful soufflé like terrine which we have just had for today's party. Y & C have now caught up with most of their old friends and can soon continue on their holiday to Malta and some real sun and i shall be able to go back to wearing my skirts again. The two sisters have been chatting and Y wondered if I was gay, just exploring the feminine side of my nature she was told. There are enough clues out there for her, when we were out for the fish and chips I needed a pee and was ushered into the facilities, without paying, with a cheery in you go luv, so clean and tidy, OH! of course these are the ladies facilities. You should have seen her face! moments of joy.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

pain and joy

Something of a test today, Three months ago I purchased five theatre tickets and arranged to have an evening out with my wife and three other girl friends with a pre performance meal. They are still out enjoying themselves and I hope they enjoyed the play about female bonding!

At least I got the complement from the doctor about the youthful firmness of my calf as he cut into it to remove the offending hard lump. Then he complained about the firmness of the same calf making it difficult to stitch together! Now I an reaping the reward of hairless legs since the sticky dressing will peel off with ease. He was non too pleased when I pointed out the failings in their system and the fact that two more lumps had appeared since number one was reported 23! Months ago. Details stop at this point, not nice.

Two have just returned from their jaunt having laughed all night. Estimated 96% female audience  and marvelous cast and set from this touring group, they are both so happy it is marvelous to see. Thought this may have brought on feelings of jealousy since I had been looking forward to it for so long and would have liked to feel jealous just for the experience! 

Tomorrow will be a sort of semi rest day with some food preparation for a large lunch party on Thursday. The other Sunday party could have been embarrassing when showing photographs from the last French trip so that Y & C’s friends could see just what their new business looked like up came one of me getting my first haircut in 40 years and she retold how Alain the hairdresser made some comment about “her” visit the next week, referring to me who had now watched two getting their treatment and chatted away, Oh she said a lot think “C” is a girl! Result! May not get so much success here where so many people have known me for so long and just taken in my gradual transformation without fully realising just what is happening but if she keeps blurting this out news is going to spread.

Going to look for pain killers it is getting sore as the anesthetic is wearing off.

Monday, 9 November 2009

Best caresses ever

We have been together for about thirty years now, so why has it taken this long to get the best ever caresses and why does it have to be so complicated as to be impossible to repeat!

It required some unusual props to get us in the mood, but hey whatever turns you on. First I was woken buy a scream of alarm and J was quickly out of bed so not her normal self. Bad words filled the air, obviously not from me! It looked like she had wet the bed which of course is exactly what she had done but not in the manner you might be thinking. I am no longer sufficient to maintain her winter warmth and she supplements body heat with bottle heat and had not bothered to check if the thing was still in useable condition, finding out had sent water all over the place. She departed with more oaths.

Not in my nature to let her suffer I found the hair dryer and started to dry off the duvet cover and sheets, this was before I found the really damp patch. On returning she just stood watching for a few moments before I suggested that she should get under my side to keep warm while the work continued. Don’t know what got into her but once on my side she started to caress me from above the knee, up over my cheek and on up my side which has always been her favourite part of me being completely hairless. There was something driven and sensuous about the action, an earnestness most unlike her usual caresses and she just kept going!

This took a while before I thought it dry enough to turn the mattress and the bedclothes could be reassembled and return to sleep mode.

Sleep was a long time returning as the brain first took pleasure at this marvelous sensuous joy I had been feeling then typically viewed it from the opposite direction and cursed that it had taken so long for her to get round to doing this.

She now has a new bottle, I shall report back in five, six or seven years when this one fails as to wether she can repeat the performance.

Friday, 6 November 2009

up and down

I composed an epic post just the other evening as I soaked in the heat of the sauna for an hour whilst reviewing a memorable year. This stream of consciousness would have been yards long and full of hope and joy.

So why is there nothing here? It all got lost in a downpour of tears to compete with the torrential rain which we have endured this past week. It is not that I have not made great changes in my life this last year, that would be an enormous understatement. This has been the most dramatic in my lifetime and the first I can recall where I have had a positive attitude towards life and whilst I have always lived in an open limbo I have moved to a more positively femme appearance from what was fairly femme / androgynous not that anyone has stopped me and said anything yet! Well except my sister and brother in law who said my new photos were very “glam”.

What hit me sideways, from out of nowhere was the realisation that many in the circle I follow have not long had , are just having, or soon will have an invisible but life changing surgery. Nobody can see it and from reports 60% plus will never use the new facility but it will bring a metaphorical smile to their faces and spring in their step and many will fade from this turbulent waiting room we inhabit. Many of the rest of us are condemned for one reason or another to remain trapped in this groundhog day world as another intake of hopefuls brave the tests and in their turn be swept away.

No matter how grounded you feel in your self these facts can still leap out and knock you flat in an instant shaking every cell in your body leaving you feeling like you have had the surgery but with no change!

Always the bridesmaid never the bride is the feeling right now, we need a bridesmaid society for self protection!

On the bright side, thank goodness there was one, there was the rare joy of over a weeks worth of knickers fresh out of the packet, joy, joy, joy.

Sunday, 1 November 2009

UK Halloween

This being the UK we do not have a tradition for celebration on Halloween. Three years ago we landed in Spain for our “summer” holiday on the evening of Halloween. Our reception committee said that we were going to eat at a restaurant in Gerona on the way to France. Moments after we passed the last parking place we would ever see the streets started to fill, the whole town centre was en fete and having a great time and we could not even find an illegal place to park. Missed a good night there.

A group of local kids organised their own Halloween which included a treasure hunt round the town with hidden prizes and clues. We were asked if they could use our front garden since it is about the spookiest in town with drooping conifers hanging over the front gate and we were asked to keep the lights off! Just to maximize the scariness. They were all to dress as well known ghosts. Every thing gone now so I guess it all went well.

They were lucky with the weather, the rain is lashing against the windows but if you have been keeping up with my recent posts you know that I no longer need to care about this! The sky is slate grey and miserable so a day of personal pampering is in order. I have had a shower and exfoliated, the legs were a bit flaky! As I sit here with a large hot drink with the blogosphere I saw mention of epilators which has spurred me on to harvest this weeks crop, it is so much more comfortable than shaving it is easy to forget the regular run over. Perhaps this should go into iCal as a regular alert!

With retirement, income is way down but having a bad cold, even though there are expenses for tissues, cough mixture etc. There is a major saving overall not going out. This has allowed me togo online and buy an arm full of my favourite knickers, I would have bought them from a shop with real people after all knicker shopping is fun but for some reason nobody stocks my choice in black and I only wear white under thin white linen clothes. I left all my best knickers in France so as not to have to think about what to pack, I left them in the washing pile, wonder if they actually found their way to our drawers? Also bought very cosy fleece polo neck in cerise stripes, hardly fashionable but almost too cosy, when Julie has one as well the heating can be turned down and we shall save it’s cost in no time. End of month and bank account not quite empty counts as a success.

There is less time to come here since our ancient iMac which Julie prefers has lost it’s internet connection. Probably a fault in one of the boxes which sends the signal through the house mains wires. Until that is resolved she is to be found here in my quiet space.