Monday, 27 June 2011
This tansition has been a nightmare.
Rainy day, dream away, let the sun take a holiday…
Story of this summer! Muscles ache from breaking up concrete driveway, I know, not really girls work but…
With darkness at noon and heavy rain I thought I would just play on the net for a while, I rarely seem to use it for anything other than following trans issues.
For a while now I have been in transition and to be honest it has been ghastly! My life for decades was near perfect then suddenly life became a nightmare with everyone asking me when I was going to transition, did I not think it was time, I would be more popular if I transitioned they said! I didn’t see the point myself, why go through a painful and expensive process just to find that everything you knew and took for granted was gone and useless and you have to find out by yourself how to function in this new world. Well I finally succumbed to pressure and threw myself into the change! Lo and behold it is a nightmare, I am near broke and I am not popular, in fact the phone never rings any more. The transition to digital photography has done nothing but kill the joy I found in exploring the world with film and lens.
In my previous life I found joy in composing elements of the world into neat squares and rectangles one hundred percent accurately delineated by the camera’s viewfinder. The kind of image you wanted to record could be decided by the choice of film, monochrome or colour, high or low sensitivity, grainy or smooth image saturated or soft colours etc. No matter how old the camera you could use the most up to date film technology. The cameras, like musical instruments were designed for instinctive finger tip control of focus, aperture and shutter speed and had zero start up time, no batteries and no annoying motors buzzing to tell everyone that you are thinking of making an exposure!
To get the equivalent result to what I had on film costs the price of a new car and depreciates even faster while becoming obsolete before you have earned enough to cover it’s cost! Last year I threw a digital camera in the bin, £200 / $300 and after a couple of years this holiday snapshot camera became so flakey it was useless. In years gone by it would have become a faithful friend and would be retired to a shelf to remind me of the joy we had had together but why would I want to be reminded of the frustrations? It got replaced by one which I had not even bothered to ever handle but ordered over the net as a reduced price old model. It works after a fashion except if you go outside when the screen is useless, then again my eyes are starting to fail for near subjects so my arms are hardly long enough to see the screen crisply so I never know what it has focused on, I have become an impressionist photographer composing a blurry fuzz where once I would be obsessed by precise positioning… I won’t even start to mention lenses and their quality!
This rainy day led me to investigate the one camera which seemed to have been made to attract a purchaser such as me. I was told that it was not cheap but I am know as someone who will sacrifice a lot to get one thing of quality and treasure it. As I have said not something the disposable digital market has provided so far!
It was Fuji camera which I looked up and the manufacturers must have been proud of their new product, they even made a very decent website to showcase it, now be honest, how often do you ever find ANY website which can be called half decent, a tragic waste of the net!
This machine has controls where they should be, the designers did not really “know” where to put them! But they found out! The thing is lovingly manufactured from durable materials in a precise way with attention to how the controls feel. It has a classic non threatening look, quite the opposite from the large heavy expensive black lump of plasticy DSLR which I bought for doing work if ever asked! It has a fixed lens designed with the largish sensor to provide a beautiful image quality especially in the way it deals with out of focus elements. If you ever read of someone drooling over the beautiful “bokeh” a lens draws you know you have found someone who knows and loves lenses! The camera even has what most cameras do not have any more, the one thing I miss, the thing which shows you what you are going to record from the point where you see it, not at arms length bur precisely HERE!
While I am broke with not enough income to feed a cat there is still an account with money for photography, it keeps getting depleted by household expenses so if I don’t use it for something like a camera purchase soon there will not be enough for a camera purchase, even Julie agreed. In fact she would like me to find something like this which would reignite my passion for making images…
I have the money ready to leap out of my account, new pin number and everything. So why have I not jumped in the car and driven the 25 miles to the nearest dealer?
The idiots in their infinite wisdom decided that the viewfinder would be alright if it only showed 90% of what the lens would record! A Rolls Royce camera with a Trabant viewfinder worse than my first toy plastic camera as a child!
Last week at a dinner party there were three of us in unison who spoke of our frustration with how modern cameras work, there must be millions of us out here who want a proper camera instead of these plastic gameboy toys!
Congratulations Fuji, 100% screw up!