Thursday, 16 August 2012

Three year experiment closed...

There is a Zen like calm in the house. 

Perhaps it is because Julie is no longer watching continuous olympics, I saw this as the final test as to the success of my transition, to have a partner hypnotized by sport on TV!

Perhaps it is because all our guests who came to Julie’s birthday party have eaten their fill, emptied our wine store and all gone home contented. They might have been more content if we had actually been able to get out into the garden which I have been working on for weeks now but it was so cold and wet they preferred to stay in the “heated!” house. With this “summer” it was originally only going to be a small party in the house but with increasingly dry and slightly warmer days recently the invited numbers increased to garden party numbers. Thankfully for us but not for those who cancelled the numbers reduced slightly because so many were going to death beds or funerals! Only one who was due at tomorrows lunch has called blaming a funeral 200 miles away as his reason. I guess that makes us look like good people to know, how many more deaths can be closely associated with us in the near future as chance evens itself out?

The Zen like peace has descended because my long advertised departure from a social media site has finally happened.

Three years ago the requests to join started to appear and I kept sending back messages saying that I liked blog land and was not interested. Too many drips wore me away so I signed up. It is just a tool and can be used in so many ways but it was a tool which I had no real interest in before signing up even at the very low price of £zero.

They have stopped reporting just how many hundreds of millions have signed up and I often wonder how many have read the terms and conditions before ticking the box and proceeding onwards to a lifetime of trying to work out how things operate and what has been slyly changed without warning including sometimes privacy settings? 

I read the terms and it took an age. Really it boils down to, anything created by “the site” is theirs and they will be angry as hell if you mess with it or try to use it elsewhere in any way BUT anything which you post like photographs or text is now also theirs to keep and do with what they like! The site was a mess with the way it worked and somebody created a “bad site fixer” app, the only one I signed up for because it made the site work much better, one guy in his spare time could fix what some think is a multi $billion site in his basement. “the site” got furious and started making threats like that scene in the Godfather where someone wakes up with his pet horse‘s head in his bed to show him what would happen if he kept calling his site “bad site fixer”!! You might have guessed by now that the site was not a joy to visit…

I can be stubborn so I persevered eventually collecting several dozen “friends”. I was fussy and generally interrogated each friend request, let few in and rejected many who failed to interact. If you were on my list you were one of a select bunch! It was not all misery, many were those I had first come across when they too were bloggers but quite a few had been seduced by the ease of quick posting on “the site” and the greater numbers of friends following them which could be built up. It was good to see how these folk were getting on with their lives. Jokes could bring on a smile but just as easily misery could be poured out putting a cloud over the day. I will miss links to music long forgotten or new work I may never have heard otherwise and the same with news from the many eyes seeking it out…

I am a very sociable person but did not feel that my social interaction on line was satisfying enough to be worthwhile. Logging on could lead to countless snippets of information of interest amongst the flood of “gifts” and app requests which if accepted would allow the app owner to rummage through your own and your friends information even if it was not necessary for the app to work. No thanks!

Sociable person finds it hard to be sociable on social media site! I stopped most interaction at the start of the year when away for an op then a long holiday. My few visits I felt uncomfortable no engaging fully so posted that I would leave soon, there was hardly any reaction so I guess posts really do not reach your friends… One person reacted, nobody told me to ***** off if I was not happy which I half expected. It was not clear how to delete an account so I went in search of the procedure which was buried so deep many may never find it, when the “permanent delete” button finally came up I was going to save the location for a few days but within seconds the desire for calmness in my life took over and I hit it.

It was my only way into another more dedicated site so I cleaned up a large chunk of online interaction in one click. People can find me if they really want, I am not hiding.

My only regret is that I should have done this a long while ago, this peace is wonderful...


  1. I've had no funerals to attend.....LOL.
    Hope your gathering(s) went well for you. Pity about this dismal weather but I have to say it hasn't been bad these last three weeks, in fact it has been too hot here on occasion.
    Would I be right in thinking that social media site was Facebook? I can't think of another one that is so bad. I have never been inclined to use Facebook, I think it is a complete waste of time. Not only that but you have to be a member just to browse someone's site whether commercial or private. Anyway you sound so happy now that you have deleted your subscription to whatever site it was. I think we can get too involved with too many on-line activities. For me, two blogs coupled with Emails are by far enough. I have a life to live as well. Enjoy your feelings of euphoria before something comes along and cocks it all up Caroline.

    Shirley Anne x

  2. I had problems with friends reunited when I wanted to leave. i had to put my hand up and ask permission, just like school.

    I didn't like the way people I didn't like at school sort of continued in bully mode.

    Enjoy your peace and quiet... until someone else thinks up something else that has us pulling out our hair.

  3. And yet some absolutely LOVE Facebook, seeing it as a necessary part of their day, a guaranteed way of getting a conversation going if they can think of a piece of news that will get responses.

    And it must be good for finding Someone Special.

    I just saw it as a site that trivialised everyone. With dubious privacy safeguards.

    As for Twitter...



    Not sure that will work but the song is close to the mark.

    All three of you have it it spot on...

  5. One thing we have in common here is our honey's obsessive watching of the olympics!! OMG! I am sooo glad it's over.

  6. What LeAnne said, lol. I just have no interest in the Olympics but my other half was absolutely glued to the tube.

    Caroline, you know, as I was reading your post I kept thinking that I was reading something that Melissa might have written. Consider that a compliment.

    Calie xxx


Many thanks to all who ever joined in the conversation and to those who took the time to follow my zig zag to a new life..

I can be contacted on the email found on my profile page.