Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Minutes to valentine's day

All day the snow falls
 the world turns suddenly white
 hibernating under duvet.

Not the world’s best haiku but it took me six decades to write one… Sums up today as non stop snow has been falling since nine am and has brought my tidy garden plans to a halt for a while. No matter how hard you try to stretch and exercise indoors nothing beats having to constantly bend to prune and pick up  round the garden. Last year was a disaster with strict instructions not to exert myself during February, March and April then going away for much of May and June when it started to rain… I handed a key to the vegetable garden to a neighbour but rain and rushing off for family emergency meant that he did not keep the weeds down as hoped for and little in the way of vegetables grew. My home tutored garden help for the past few years has been on a pre college course and has now been offered a place at a prestigious London music school so she has not shown up much either and may now be lost to us… I need all the time I can get in the garden to 
get it back in order.

After weeks of hardly sleeping and being up until the early hours of the morning I am now getting sleepy in the late evenings and going to bed earlier than I have for decades and getting up early. I would not mind if this became permanent because I really like the early quiet hours of the morning when the sun comes up but usually miss it because that is when I get my best few hours sleep. If I post comments at 8.30 am now it is because I have not long got up not because I am about to go to bed!

New sleep schedule fits in better when we have guests stay and this last weekend The spare bedroom was heated because we had a visit from our friend Louise who at this time last year stayed over after rescuing me from the airport sixty miles away after  I flew home after my Brighton operation. How quickly that year has flown by and though I do know that I had some small persistent problems for the first month or so with wound healing all memories are fading fast. I still find it remarkable just how little suffering was involved compared to what I had imagined. What I do remember with absolute clarity was my utter calmness once I had arrived at the hospital and been admitted to my room. Not a single doubt crossed my mind.

This journey we undertake many of us no longer take completely alone. The net brings many of us together for sharing knowledge and experience, something almost impossible to find out about even in the recent past. I was lucky enough to have two friends step in to visit whilst in hospital 500 miles from home and provide a relay service to help on the journey which I feel we have to make a little too soon after surgery. So thanks once again to Lucy and Louise who will be friends for life.

If I have any regret it is that it took until so late in life to make my change. To be an old lady with a bus pass is better than I ever hoped for and has become so normal that ever being other rarely comes into my mind. To have lived like this in my forties and fifties would have been so wonderful and I feel bad thinking of those loosing out on a chance to enjoy those very years…

Much of my muscle has turned to belly fat, my doctor laughed when I spoke about it, price paid for being an old lady. My attempt to reduce the bump is slowly starting to take effect and I am wearing some old warm trousers which I have not been able to fasten for several years, it is a start. The hope is to look and feel good in this year’s holiday photographs.



  1. Indeed you have a friend for life, albeit one living far away. But despite blowing my finances to smithereens with a new cooker,my Northern Tour is still on, and we should be able to meet up in June.


  2. A nice down to earth (sorry) post Caroline, a reflection on what is past and a look to the future sounds healthy enough to me. It is a sad fact the we 'old' ladies regret not having been here sooner but at least we made it didn't we? Shame that your garden hasn't been as looked after as you'd hoped last year but I am sure you'll correct that once the snow has melted and the season changes. Looks like we are in for a warm spell now, a step towards Spring. Like the photos.

    Shirley Anne responding at 9am before popping out to a job!

  3. What are friends for if not helping out at difficult times.

    The weather does not seem to have improved since I drove home on Sunday in pouring rain, just like last year I seem to remember (and the fog on the way up from the airport).

  4. Your snow looks beautiful to me, all we seem to have here is rain, rain and mud.

    Belly fat is also one of the disadvantages of menopause so I know how you feel about it.

    Sweet dreams - whenever you manage to sleep


Many thanks to all who ever joined in the conversation and to those who took the time to follow my zig zag to a new life..

I can be contacted on the email found on my profile page.