Monday, 24 December 2018

Sleigh bells roasting on an open fire…

Despite my first job being the driver of Santa’s sleigh ride in a department store I have a lifetime dislike of this time of year, perhaps I mean because of...

People still do not seem to understand what a torment it is to go through life being unable to show appreciation for any presents received. How could they, our situation is totally and unfathomably alien to them. Most of us probably just go with the flow and accept their fate of accumulated unwanted stuff.

My parents were mean hearted in mean post war times so I never expected or got much from them as a child. Relations clearly tried to do the necessary present giving in the busy month of December with birthday and the other event very close together. I have no idea how I got over the idea to them  that the presents were unsuitable but at a very early age they were magically transformed into postal orders for money or nice crisp ten shilling notes from those who did not have to post. Thankfully that could buy books, something else my parents did not understand!

In times past the Yule replacement festival came and went quite quickly but now in what we are told are times of austerity, billions are spent to the refrain of endlessly repeated pop and carols. Thankfully once a few days worth of bad TV has been broadcast we can get down to the serious business of funerals for the surprising number who have just shown exactly what they thought of suffering yet another festival of over indulgence. I have to put my hand up to some comfort eating to cheer me through the months of watching a friend struggle then rapidly decline, a tight waist band is uncomfortable and the look is terrible. Some increased physical exercise is required on the non icy days.

At least a tree has been saved from being cut down then dehydrated in the corner of the sitting room and in the chaos of hospital visits not a single purchase of the one redeeming Yule treat, mince pies, has been made. Just as well.

See how much calmer Yulefest was in the past!